Fallen with difficulty
by TheeeePunkin
Summary: A story about Izaya and Shizuo becoming friends and slightly more- while Izaya s in a relationship with Kadota. Who will he choose? Reak and find out- I suck at summaries, by the way
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Durarara- and that`s good, believe me! I would have pretty screwed it up.**

 **Well here`s a story bout Izaya, having to choose between two guys; The onw he used to hate and the one he used to love.**

 **Sorry, if chapters will take some time sometimes- have a lot of work to do**

 **Andway; Here we gooo. Have fun :)**

 **Shinra, you`re fucking nutts!**

Oh come on, I said my sorrys so often by now. You seemed to like him back then.

Shizuo looked at his friend with his mouth wide open. Like? He liking this.. thing? Shinra had always been delusional, but this?

You`re totally going crazy. The blonde shook his head.

Oh, yeah, I know. It`s cause my loooovely Celty stands there and waits for meeeeee Suddenly Shinra was all lovey-dovey-like.

Shizuo rolled his eyes and started to light a cigarette.

See ya tomorrow Shinra. He waved goodbye and went to the other decision to go home. It had been a long and confusion day and all he wanted to do right now was going home, slurring a hot cup of cocoa and went to bed to make homework. But his thought traveled away. Again.

To white ivory skin and black hairs like the feathers of a raven.

Shinra had just wanted to make them get together- he knew it, but Shinra was an idiot. How would they ever get along?

Shizuo sighed. He had lost it today again. Again he was racing through the hallways behind him to catch him, to rip his head off of his neck. And again he missed him every single time. He never knew what made him angrier.

Oh crap, he thought. This was becoming so annoying. The other boy was in his head, yeah. He couldn't and wouldn`t deny it.

He inhaled and exhaled the smoke of his cigarette one last time before it died out and sighed again.

Fuck you.

Dootachiiiin?

What`s wrong, Izaya? Kadota looked at his kinda-boyfriend quizzically.

I`m bored. Let`s do something. Let`s go out! The raven spared him a big smile.

Oh well, if you want to. Here we go., he answered and stood up.

Izaya moved with him. Up from the couch, out of the door.

And when Kadota coughed his hand, he let him do.

Although he was tired from the day, he had to go out. He had to see another person. Even if it was to piss him off. He loved this dance of theirs.

Dotachin? He was kinda boring. It was all the same with him. Cuddling, sweet kissing.. And he was lame in bed.

But he liked him. So he stayed with him.

Maybe Dotachin knows my troubles, he thought. In the last weeks he`s getting more possessive.

Yeah, that was right. Since Izaya started to go seek for Shizu-chan to piss him off.

Maybe he should show him, that he was his man- momentary, but still.

Dotachin? Wanna go to the cinema? The raven flashed his best sweet smile at the bigger boy, unaware of the turmoil it send Kadota through.

After a moment of silence, he answered Yeah sure. Why not? and Izaya started to ramble on about some movies. As to why they`re good or bad and why the actor was a stupid hypocrite and so on.

He knew Kadota liked it when he started to ramble. He felt as if Izaya would trust him more. And when he was happy, Izaya was kinda happy too.

They wasn`t dating long, only a couple of weeks, but still. Shinra had introduced them. He may failed with the decision to ty and get him together with Shizu-chan, but still. He had Dotachin.

And he was happy with what he was given.

It was late, but Shizuo couldn't care less. He seriously needed some cigarettes before someone would die.

He had an argument with Kasuka, his little brother. And although the whole world thought, he couldn`t show feelings, Shizuo knew, what Kasuka felt every time.

Shizuo had nearly thrown a computer at Kasuka.

That was when he left. He ran away. Again. He hated it. This fucking strength.

As he strolled outside the streets of Ikebukuro, the boy calmed down a bit. But he still needed to get some smokers. So he went to the next shop to buy some.

Better. He thought while inhaling the smoke deeply. It calmed him down very fast. And he was strolling again through the streets.

How could one day last so long? He was so tired of all this.

The blond shook his head, his golden eyes looking dull on the street down to his feets. That was when he heard something a few feet away. In the next side street, to be more specific.

Ikebukuro was a big city. Even at night there where a few people on the street.

Don`t touch me.

He knew that voice. But it sounded.. afraid?

Now he was curios. Curiosity kills the cat, yeah he knew, but hey; He was just a boy, too.

So casually he strode nearer.

Oh, I think I will. What will you do against? You`re just a little boy, failing to hold his nose out of things which seriously you`d better stayed out of.

Shizuo wrinkled his eyebrows. That voice was new. It sounded powerful.

You don`t tell me what I have to do! Now get your hands off of-

And suddenly the voice shut up.

The blond, now standing right beside the entrance of the street, was waging to go in or to go away.

Then he heard a muffled scream and some muffled `fuck you`s. They sounded afraid. This time he was sure. So without a second thought, he went inside. And what he saw made him catch his breath.

There was Izaya. Being held against a wall, with fear in his red eyes, a hand on his mouth and his knife nowhere to seen. The man in front of him was big. A full head bigger than he himself. And from the looks of it, he wanted to make sure Izaya never failed to hold his nose out of things again. He wore white trousers and a white jacket.

The man hadn`t noticed Shizuo by now. He wasn`t even sure if Izaya noticed him. He stood there still like in shock. He never saw that.. thing in the ravens eyes. He`d never saw him terrified and.. weak.

Izaya struggled to get free, he was getting hopelessly-er by the seconds ticking away. And then he finally recognize Shizuo and stood still.

Ah, finally accepting, are you?

Then Shizuo knew where Izayas knife was. But it was too fast for his brain to catch up.

Suddenly Izaya screamed an scream of pain. Suddenly the knife in the man`s hands- Izayas knife- was red. And suddenly the man laid there under Shizuo while he was beating down on him faster than he ever imagined he could.

He only stopped when he heard a soft Shizu-chan.. beside him.

In the middle of beating the white man to a bloody bulb, he stopped.

And remembered. Izaya, being injured, laying on the floor just a few feet away.

Fast he strolled over to the little raven and for the first time in his life, he wasn`t feeling anger or the urge to let him die there.

Shizu-chan..? Izayas protest was weak, when Shizu lifted his shirt to see how much damage the knife had made.

It wasn`t that bad. The wound was big, but not very deep. The rest of Izayas upper body was slowly beginning to get blue and green.

I`ll bring ya to the hospital.

No.. they`ll find.. me there. He opened his eyes shortly to look at him. He`s from the.. Yakuza.

Shizuo froze again. But he caught himself faster this time.

Then I`ll bring you to my apartment. One way or another- we need to get this wound closed.

Izaya wasn`t complaining this time. He was weak. Much too weak for his likings.

So Shizuo just hold him up, carefully of his injured body, and took him bridal-style to his house. He was walking fast, turning his head ever so often this way or the other. He was looking for them.

Just try, he thought. Just try and ya`ll die.

He was confused. Of course. He used to hate Izaya. And Izaya used to hate him. Why was he helping him? That look in his eyes.. Shizuo shook his head. He was too confused to think about right now. All he could think off was the small raven in his arms, cuddling against him. He was hurt and he had pain. He`d lost a lot of blood and Shizuo bet it had been a hard night for him, too.

Arriving at Shizuos house, Shizuo let out a sigh of relief. Izaya was still breathing, so Izaya was still living. He went to the backdoor and nearly ran the stairs down to his level of the house.

Coming on, he opened the door, laying Izaya down on his couch and turning the keys, so he won`t be disturbed.

Fast but soft, he sat Izaya up, peeling him out of his jacket and his black shirt. The raven was half unconsciousness while he did so.

So Izaya, that will hurt, you know, but it will help you. So when I start to stich this together ya need to try and don`t scream. It will burn like hell, yeah. But it will help. He was rambling on and on about what he`ll do now, while he rummaged through the cupboards to find his medical things.

When he found it, he first disinfected the wound and hold Izaya in place, when he tried to squirm away.

Yeah, I know. It burns. But I don`t know, where your knife`d been before and I won`t risk this thing to infect itself.

He was rambling again, not sure if Izaya was listening, but sure he was awake again. With every stich the blonde did, he let out a muffled scream and his whole body shook. At some point, Shizuo was sure, Izayas body would fully fall to unconsciousness. How much turmoil can one person life over in one night? He was sure, he would find out how much it was when coming to Izaya soon.

Sixteen stitched later, Shizuo laid down the medical utensils and dumped a small towel in a boil of hot water. Wringing it out, he thought about how desperately he needed a smoke, but shook his head.

First this. Then I can go smoking.

He laid the hot towels over the wound, causing Izaya so shake one last time, before falling finally unconsciousness.

Softly the blonde patted Izayas stomach with the towel, warming it up and helping the skin to start relaxing a bit. In the end he just laid it down on Izaya, causing the raven to sigh in his deep sleep.

Now I really need a cigarette.

While he went over to where his jacket laid, he tried to focus his thoughts on the things happen in the last hour.

Izaya, the raven-haired boy he hated so much, laid here in his apartment, unconsciousness and injured. He`s sworn to kill him some time, but he now he had had this chance, he`d saved him. He`d stitched his wounds back together..

And Suddenly Shizuo was aware that now.. Everything they knew would chance.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaaah! Sorry, for the long time waiting.. My computer thought it would be funny to stop work.. dumb thing.

And I realised that I failed to do the quotation marks. Now I!m too lazy and tired to over work this whole thing again :D

Aaanyway.. have fun :)

It was dark around him.

Where am I?

Izaya tried to sit up, but very fast thought better about it, when in his left side a burning pain exploded.

Slowly his mind wrapped around the last things he could remember.

He was in the cinema with Dotachin. After they said their goodnights and Izaya went home. On the way home he saw Shiki-san. He followed him, when he suddenly ended up in a goddam end-way-side street and Shiki was behind him. He cornered him. Izaya was afraid. Shiki`d beaten him up before using his own knife against him. Pain. Then there was Shizu-chan, beating up Shiki and taking Izaya to his home.

So I`m at Shizu-chan`s, mh? He saved me..

Now Izaya was confused. His head hurts and the pain in his left side was becoming unbearable.

I think, I can hear your brain working.

The raven shook and let out very girly scream when a hand touched his in the dark.

Hey, calm down. It`s me. Wait, I`ll make some light. Shizuo stood up and enlightens three candles on the backside of his living room. Every other light would possibly kill Izayas brain right now.

Painkiller?

Izaya nodded. He was so confused about this whole situation, that he distrusted his mouth to form logical sentences.

Shizu-chan went away to a room on the right side, while the raven looked around. It was kinda nice here. Not at all like what he imagined Shizuo to life in. From what he saw, he was in the living room and behind him was the kitchen. There was no door between. To the left and the right side was one door. Toilet and bedroom, he thought.

Here. They`ll help.

He looked up to the two drugs, Shizu-chan hold in his hand and took them. A few seconds later, the blonde gave him a glass of water wich he too took and gulped down a large sip.

After, Shizuo sat down beside him. The couch was large and now that he thought about it, it was very comfy.

So, what trouble did ya get yourself into?

Izaya shook his head. I don`t have a single clue. I was following Shiki-san- that`s the man in white. And suddenly I was having trouble staying on my own feet.

Shizu-chan sighed and lightened a cigarette.

One day, they will kill you, you know? Izaya said scrunching his eyebrows together.

Yeah, I know. But one day I`ll die nonetheless, so why not? The blonde answered calmly.

The smaller one just sighed. He was used to the smoke by now. After all, Shizuo was a good friend of Kadota.

Fuck, Dotachin. Izayas eyes shot open and he searched frantically for his phone.

3 new messages. All from him.

Message 1:

Hey Izaya, mail me, when you`re home, yeah? I need to talk to you.

Message 2:

Izaya? Where the hell are you? And what are you doing? You normally never miss a call or a text. I`m worried. Please reply

Message 3:

Well.. I`m going to bed now. Don`t know what`s wrong with you right now, but I seem I see you tomorrow in school. Tell me, what`s wrong is then

Bye

Izaya took his head in his hands and sighed deeply.

What`s wrong? Kadota`s angry at you?

That was when he remembered that he was with Shizu-chan.

Yeah, kinda. Troubles. I want to hold him out of everything, but- Wait, why am I telling you this?

The last part was more to himself than addressed at the blonde. And thankfully Shizu-chan let him keep his secrets.

Dotachin would have asked till Izaya split his inside out in front of him.

Shizu-chan, why did you helped me?

With the painkillers finally working, Izayas head was slowly able to catch up with the situation.

Shizuo shook his shoulders.

I`m not really sure. He said after a long pause. But ya looked unlike yourself. Not like I used to know ya.

Izaya looked at him with a quizzically expression on his face.

What? The blonde asked.

Since when do you know me, Shizu-chan? We used to hate each other. We`d never been friends and I was always thinking that you only haven't already killed me by now, cause Dotachin means a lot to you as a friend. And of course, cause I`m just too good for you to catch. He flicked his tongue out at Shizuo, who merely laughed.

That`s big words for a small boy like you, Izaya.

Hmpf. Now the raven was confused. Why wasn`t he getting angry?

Izaya let his eyes travel over to Shizuo. He was smiling and giggling funny.

The smaller boy felt something funny bubbling up inside of him. He had never seen Shizu-chan as calm as now before.

Ah screw it. Who needs him angry anyway?

Two days later..

Izaya still hadn`t been to school.

He still stood with Shizuo.

He still had pain.

But he had phoned with Dotachin, telling him he`d be perfectly fine and no need to worry. They had an argument and Dotachin told him, he should come to him. His boyfriend was very possessive. Izaya hated it. But he couldn`t care less at the moment. In fact there was very much Izaya had to worry about. His wound was slowly closing, but the area around was still blue and purple and green and had all other paintings he could imagine. And it hurts.

On the other hand, there was Shizu-chan, being nice to him. They became kinda.. friends, the raven had to admit. And somehow; It wasn`t that bad after all.

When Shizuos family`d found out, that Izaya was staying with their oldest son, there was a huge argument, in which Shizuo claimed Izaya was a good one.

Yeah, Shizuo trusted him. And just a little bit, Izaya trusted him, too.

It surprised the raven, how much the two of them had change in the last days.

Right now the blonde was in school, while Izaya stayed home and played videogames. Surprisingly they weren`t as easy as he had thought, coming to know that Shizu-chan wasn`t the smartest.

But they made fun und more than often made him grumble from disappointment of being killed again.

Shizuo was good at them. He was a good gamer in every game they played. And just once Izaya won over Shizu-chan. He knew the blonde had letting him win, but he didn`t care about it.

He was having fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Aaaah agaion I forgot to poste.. I`m so sorry guys :**

 **But here we go and have fun :3**

Finally the last hour of school was over and Shizuo was on his way home.

It had been boring and he`d love to stay home this day, playing videogames and teasing the little raven staying at his home.

That was when he saw Kadota waving at him and coming closer.

Hey Shizuo. he greeted slowly.

Hey man, what`s up? Ya looked far away the whole day.

That was true. Kadota looked difficult, since Izaya stayed away from school and away from him. Even Shinra was on the hut.

It`s cause of Izaya. I know you don`t like him that much, but tell me: Did you see him somewhere on the streets? He`s away now for two days and he`s not replying to my texts as usually. I guess something`s up with him. I`m worried. We`re arguing a lot lately..

That was a lot of words for someone like Kadota and Shizuo felt a pang of possessiveness wash over him.

Not daring to think more about it, he shook his head and lightened a cigarette.

No, sorry man. I haven`t seen him either.

Izaya asked him to not tell Kadota about where he was. When Shizuo asked why, the raven just shrugged and said, he`d knew him.

But, I have to go. Kasuka and I wanna play a new game today, so sorry, but see ya tomorrow. And with that Shizuo went away. He couldn`t stand Kadota right now.

He had other things to worry about.

Like for example the raven haired boy with the fire-red eyes living currently on his couch.

He inhaled the smoke.

We`re friends, I guess. Even without me noticing it, Izaya became my friend.

Well, that was confusing.

Arriving home, Shizuo saw Izaya sitting on the couch, swearing a lot, with his gaming controller in the hand.

It`s the same level the past few hours. And it`s the same situation. I guess I`m not made to kill aliens.

Shizuo laughed a bit, while he undid his shoes and went to the bedroom, to dress into something more comfy.

As he heard a `fuck` and a loud throb, he stomped half clothed out into the living room. There kneelt Izaya on the floor, with one hand around his stomach and the other shakingly pressed against himself. Clearly in pain. The controller laid next to him, so did the painkillers, Shizuo told him to gulp this morning.

Faster than he could think, he sat down next to a shivering Izaya, shaking from pain and tried to calm him down. He handed him the two painkillers again and this time Izaya took the drugs.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, Shizuo holding the small raven in his arms, while they both waited for the drugs to kick in.

Fuck.. Izayas voice was hoarse, as he spoke, but steady.

..You, Shizuo answered, which made the raven giggle weak. Why didn`t you took them in the morning, like I told ya?

I hate drugs. The make me lose the control.

Yeah, and this doesn`t? Shizuo sighed while helping him back on the couch. Like hell, Izaya.

When the younger sat, Shizuo went to the kitchen to bring him a glass of water.

Izaya took it thankfully and it was then that he realized, Shizuo was only wearing a pair of boxers and a loose jeans.

And that his upper body looked damn hot. Izaya couldn`t tore his eyes away. He was trained, well of course. That strength needs some muscles too. And he was sunshine-y brown, like his face and his arms were. It was the first time, Izaya saw more of his skin than just these.

And there was the scar.

Gulping down the dull pain in his left side, Izaya stoop up again, standing right in front of Shizuo and looking at the scar he made himself. Now that he was closer, he saw that Shizuo had a lot of scars. But not a single one stood out as clear as his first mark. It had been a promise. It had meant `I kill you one day`. Slowly he raised his hand, touching it. And he felt Shizuo shiver underneath his soft touch.

Izaya closed his eyes and traveled down the scar from one end to the other, making Shizuo shiver. He blushed. There was a funny feeling in his stomach- which clearly wasn`t coming from the wound.

Then there suddenly were Shizuos arms around him, rising slowly till they found their place around his small hip.

And for the first time in his life, Izaya felt something, he`d never felt before. He felt home. He finally let even his last mask slip away.

All the stress seemed to wash away. All the pain was gone. And as if Shizuo knew what was going on in him, he tightens his grip and hugged the small raven.

They stood like this for almost half an hour, Shizuo just hugging Izaya tightly and Izaya just trying not to let everything out and cry.

After all, he was just a boy from 16 years. And the last days had been rough- even for his standards.

At some point, he felt Shizuo shift, laying his head on top of his and sighed.

You`re going to make me crazy one day, you little bastard. He whispered and chuckled softly.

Izaya giggled. That`s what I`m here for.

Then he slowly rose his head. Originally he wanted to stick his tongue out to Shizuo, but the situation given they were in, he just looked at him. And was speechless. He`d never seen Shizuo smiling like this and never seen him calm like this. If it wasn`t for the scar under his fingertips, he wouldn`t believe it was Shizuo.

The blonde looked down at him with his golden-brown eyes, a soft smile on his lips and a very soft blush around his nose.

Izaya had never thought, that Shizuo was even capable of looking like this. And sure as hell he`d never imagined he himself could be the source of Shizuo looking like this. He never knew he wanted to be.

And when his heart started to pound hardly against his rib cage, Izaya slowly closed his eyes. Damned be Dotachin.

Shizuo seemed to get what Izaya wanted, as he too closed his eyes and slowly let his head down. It took them half an century, both nervous as hell, but when their lips finally met, it was as if something clicked inside of them. The earth stood still and there where only them both in their own wonderful world.

Izaya never knew how long the kiss last or why it stopped. But some when it did, when two pear of lungs screamed for air.

Shizuo let his head hung and pressed his face against Izayas.

But then the moment faded away, as fast as it had come.

Kadota.. shit.

Izayas brain kicked in just as Shizuo spoke out the name of his boyfriend.

He moved a few feet back, away from the warmth Shizuo was given him.

What have I done?

I-I`m sorry, Izaya.. Shizuos mumbled softly. His head hung down to look at his feet.

No.. eehr, I mean.. Oukay.. For the first time in his life, Izaya was at a loss for words. Well, not in his head- there were enough of them. But they all just seemed to scream at Shizuo to do as he did a few minutes ago.

Oukay? I just kissed ya. And yer have a boyfriend+ I`m not supposed to do this. While he spoke he lightened a cigarette with one hand and ruffled his hair with the other.

His wonderful blond hair, standing out in all directions, making him look damn sexy, by the wa- AAAH, what am I thinking? Stop it and get a hold of yourself, Orihara!

It`s oukay, Shizu-chan.. And besides; I kissed you too. So we`re even now, kay?

Shizuo looked at him dumbfounded. And seriously? Izaya would look at himself just the same in Shizuos situation.

After another long drag on the cigarette, he slowly answered. Oukay, even. But lemme tell you only one thing, before this whole kinda romantic thing is over. Izaya looked at him curiously. You`re a good kisser. And.. I like you without all these masks. Under them yer kinda.. not so bad at all.

Izaya felt his cheeks warm up just a bit. He smiled. Thank you.. I guess?

Now both of them laughed, happy, that they were still friends and hadn`t destroyed everything.

Izaya still felt the bubbling sensation when he sat down on the couch next to Shizuo, still a bit messy and still a bit painful, but he gulped it and looked at Shizuo, who was handing him the second controller.

Screw homework. I need to teach yer how to kill something. That`s much more important.

Izaya laughed warmly. Said the man who tried to kill me over a hundredth times.

Umm.. Let`s just say you`re out of the ordinary

That`s a point for you, Shizu-chan.

Shizuo giggled happy. Well, in the end, I`ll have a hundredth of them, Iza.

He looked at the raven curiously, but Izaya made no move to kill him for the nickname, so Shizuo shrugged. And Izaya himself just smiled about how easy it was to have fun with his Shizu-chan. And he smiled for the first nickname he had ever gotten.


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh my good, I'm so very very sorry.. I totally forgot about this story.. Had very much going on last couple of months. Pleease forgive me .**

 **Well, this is a short one, I guess. But it starts to get interesting *-***

 **I can't promise that the next will come faster.. I'm sorry again**

 **Buuut, have fun with this little piece. And please could you tell me, when I'm making Izaya too much OC?**

 **It's so hard writing him^^**

 **Oukay, I'm rambling..**

 **have fun guys :3**

It was another three days later, that Izaya finally decided to go to school again.

Not that I need to, in fact..

But Shizuo wouldn`t let him stay at home anymore.

You need to go. Kadota`s driving everyone crazy. He talks even less than before. I thought you two finally got over your little argumenting?

Yeah.. Izaya ruffled through his silky black hair. Kinda, I guess.

Look. Ya need to tell me what yer meaning with this. I still can`t look inside of that great brain of yours, Iza.

When you say this, it sounds like you don`t mean it. Izaya laughed.

Yeah, he was feeling better. And he was sure- while logical thinking- that he was capable of going through a whole school day.

But was Shizuo even aware of what that meant for them?

You know that when I`m in school again, we can`t be friends anymore? Cause when Shinra or Dotachin or Tom or I don`t know who will see us together like this, Dotachin`ll know, that I was here with you for almost a full week. And what do you think, he`ll do then?

Shizuo looked at Izaya, his brain slowly catching up. I don`t care if they know. You`re my friend, smartass. And I don`t need to hide my friendships from someone. He looked at the smaller stubbornly. And besides; What could Kadota do? Forbid us to see each other? Ha, I`d love to see him try.

The raven sat down again on the couch, head in hands and side looked at Shizuo.

You`re unbelievable. He hated it when the blond did this. Looking right through him to say or do exactly what Izaya needed right now.

I know, yer too. Makes a good team out of us, right?

To that Izaya just had to laugh.

Kadota was unbelievable clingy at the time being. Or; he tried to be. As Izaya hadn`t given him a chance to see him. So they argued. Even more than before. It was kinda fascinating how many things Kadota disliked at the raven.

Shizuo was so unlike him.

In fact Shizuo was unlike every other human he ever met. But Kadota wasn`t. Kadota was like his dad. Kinda.

He could. And he would have the right to do so. I`m his boyfriend after all.

That was everything Izaya said.

Shizuo knew that there had to be more to this, but Izaya wouldn`t say a single word.

So Shizuo just sighed.

There had to be more. Izaya said that He`s Kadotas boyfriend. That he is Kadotas. And now this..

But Kadota was a good one. He never said very much and he was a little overprotective about Izaya, but it was still Kadota, Shizuo was thinking about.

But why would he lie to me?

Shizuo wasn`t coming to an answer, so he just stood up and smoked another one of his cigarettes to calm his thoughts.

Izaya sat on the couch, looking deep down in his own brain while watching on his phones display.

Kadota again? He could think about this another time.

Izaya seems to remind himself that Shizuo was there too and shrugged.

Yeah, he asks me again where I am. And why I haven`t replied to his messages by now. I guess he`s forgetting that I have a life, too.

Lemme see. Casually Shizuo strolled over to Izaya, to look over his shoulder.

I want to know where you are, Izaya. I swear to god, if you`re in trouble, I`ll kill the person. And when you`re at someone`s, tell me at whose you are. I need to see you, I`m getting pissed off and I need to talk to you.

Woah. Was all Shizuo said. He didn`t knew Kadota could be like this.

Yeah. He`s driving me insane. He`s so fucking jealous. I can`t even go to the cinema with my sisters without him `allowing` it. Izaya took a deep breath. I really hate this, Shizu-chan. I`m no little child you need to save from the bads of the world. I`m no damn princes whose looking for her price. I`m small and I look weak, but everyone knows I`m not. So when will he finally realize?

Shizuo was about to answer, when Izaya spoke again.

When he finds out, that I`m staying here with you, he`ll be very angry. I don`t want him to get this angry over nothing. We didn`t do anything -besides that one kiss- but still. I don`t want to lose him.

It was the first time, Izaya showed how afraid he was. And how difficult this whole situation was to handle for him.

And Shizuo could think of nothing to tell him to feel better. His brain was just full of pictures reminding him of the kiss Izaya had talked about.

We`ll find an answer, but right now, we`ll celebrate my weekend. I`ve stolen this from my father's cupboard upstairs. I don`t think he even realized it.

While he spoke, he took a bottle of Vodka and two glasses from the kitchen, handed Izaya one and sat down.

You`re sure, this`s a good idea? The smaller looked skeptically at the clear fluid in Shizuos hands.

Nope, but right now I don`t care, Iza. It tastes a bit weird at the start, but after a few gulps, you`ll get used to it.

Izaya finally shrugged. We only live once, right?

Oh yeah, damn right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Oukay guys, I need you all to review to this one. It took me the whole freaking night.. and I have to go to work in about three hours D;**

 **I'm still not that happy with this one, but I'm done right now.**

 **As always: Have fun :3**

Oukay, it was a bad idea.

A very bad, in fact.

Izaya looked up at Shizuos face, while laying in his lap, trying to focus on anything. His vision was blurring and he had to laugh the whole time.

And once, he tried to make me move in with him. He said he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. Forever, ya know? He`s nuts, I tell ya! Izaya babbled slightly and gestured wild in the air with his glass of Vodka.

Shizuo laughed. You are nuts, Iza. He just loves ya very much.

Suddenly Izaya stopped gesturing and looked seriously up to him.

What if I don`t love him?

To that Shizuo shook his head, which he stopped abruptly, when his stomach started to go ill.

Ya love him. Otherwise ya wouldn't sit here and complain bout him the whole time.

Izaya scrunched his forehead. Ya sure? Doesn`t it mean yer not happy with something, if yer complaining bout it?

Maybe yer not happy right now, but you still love him.

Mpfh. was all the raven answered.

That`s not even an answer, Iza. Shizuo laughed hard, making Izaya wobble in his lab.

With a sigh he sat up and gulped the remaining Vodka in his glass down.

You`re together with him now for almost one year. It`s normal to have his ups and downs and sometimes t`s oukay to hate the other one. Ya can still love him, even though you`re sometimes unhappy. Shizuo looked Izaya deep in the eyes to try and make him understand.

Even if he himself could only think about kissing him again.

But that wasn`t going to happen.

He wouldn`t take advantage of him. Not again. He gulped his own Vodka down.

You make my brain hurt. The raven mumbled. Stop it.

Shizuo giggled. You started this.

Well, and you should stop it. I don`t wanna think about Dotachin right now. It`s too difficult to think bout, when you`re brain stays up in the clouds.

Izaya looked at Shizuo and mumbled softly: And when the thing you want right now is a completely other story.

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. What?

Izaya had to laugh about how dumbfounded Shizuo looked.

Slowly he placed his now empty glass on the table and crawled over to Shizuo again. When he was right in front of the blonde, took the too empty glass from him and placed it next to his on the table.

Iza..

Shut up. Izaya whispered and sat himself down on Shizuos lap again.

No.. we can`t.. But the older one was closing his eyes already.

Oh, I`ll show ya how we can. He purred in his ear, making Shizuo shiver.

That was when he completely ignored his brain finally, pulled Izayas head to his and kissed him senseless,

It wasn`t as soft as the first one. This kiss was needy and full of lust.

It made Izaya blush and moan and wanting to get more.

When Shizuo licked over his lower lip, he opened his mouth to give him entrance.

While his tongue darted out to dance with Izayas, he pulled him even closer, trying to get him nearer than physical possible.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!

Shizuos brain screamed at him to stop what he was doing. But it was all he wanted right now.

Izaya Orihara. Izaya. His Izaya. Iza.. Iza, who lived with him since a whole week, who sucked at videogames, who let him kiss him..

Izaya, who had a boyfriend.

Shizuo moved back as if he'd gotten burned. He did it again. Kissed him. Took advantage of him.

Fuck!

Izaya just looked up at him like a kicked puppy and silently moved away to sit beside him.

They sat in silence a few minutes while Shizuo tried to regain some sort of self-control. He wouldn't be able to look at Kadota at Monday, he was sure of it,

So why wasn't he ashamed of himself? Deep down he knew it was wrong what they'd just did. But instead of being ashamed his insides screamed for more.

We can't he whispered.

Izaya turned his head to watch him from the side. I know.. I'm sorry, Shizu-chan..

Then Shizuo did the only thing he knew would help to make this stupid voice inside him shut up.

He took the bottle of Vodka and took a big gulp, shaking himself and handing the bottle over to the younger boy.

Izaya raised an eyebrow but took it nevertheless. He sighed.

Ya only live once, right? The raven slurred and too took a big gulp.

Eeeeeeewww Izaya was shaking himself too, nearly falling off of the couch in the process. Shizuo laid his arm around him, holding him against him.

Ya know, that's not fair, Iza. he slurred as his vision was starting to get blurry again and all he could think of was the little boy next to him.

He snatched the bottle away from the raven and gulped the remaining liquor down. Ya sit here, next to me. I can feel ya. I can touch ya. But I'm not allowed to do so. I can even smell yer when yer in the same room as I am. But still I can't. I can't touch yer. I can't kiss yer. You've got Kadota and he's friend. And still I'm sitting here next to ya and all I can think 'bout is that stupid kiss. And yer lips on mine. That funny feeling down here in my stomach. Yer make me feel funny, but I can't let that happen. I-

But Izaya disrupted him by pressing his lips against the blondes. It was a desperate kiss, fierce and hard. Shizuo was half aware of Izaya climbing on top of him but by now his resolve was really used up. It was too hard to resist the raven right now. The room was spinning around them as Shizuos hands found their way under the ravens shirt, ghosting over his back, his mucles, his wound..

And when Izaya started nibbling down his neck and moaning his name, Shizuo completely lost it. He'd blame it on the alcohol later but deep down inside of him he knew exactly what he was doing. So when he gripped Izayas waist firmly and saw Kadotas face in front of his inner eye, he told him to shut the fuck up and let him take his boyfriend.

After all, this time it had been Izaya kissing HIM.


	6. Chapter 6

**Soooooorry.. I've been pretty busy lately and the next chapter will take it's time too I guess. Need to go to hospital in a few days and stuff like this noone cares about. I know, I know, ya all just want me to shut the fuck up so ya can read this chapter, right?**

 **Buut, while I'm here, I might as well thank ya for your rewievs. They always make me blush ./.**

 **So, go on and read. I don't own anything, other than the idea for this one.. sadly..**

It wasn't until the next day that Shizuo came back to his senses. He woke up with a huge headache and needed a moment to remember who he was, where he was and why he was in this pain.

"Fuck.." he mumbled when the memories from last night came back rushing in, making his heart sting with guilt but at the same time making him the happiest person on this lovely planet- and he hated himself for it.

They laid in Shuzos bed, naked, Izaya cuddled up next to him, his head on Shizuos chest.

When Shizuo looked down at him, his heart stopped beating for a second.

The raven haired boy was asleep, his lips slightly opened and his silky black hair a chaotic mess around his head. He looked younger and so innocent.

The cover was pulled down to his hips, revealing the hickeys and the scratches down his neck and upperbody which stood out dark against his ivory skin. Just like the bruises he still got down his left side and the wound at his chest which was slowly closing.

He looked so unlike himself with the small real smile tugging his lips upward even in his sleep.

When his chest started to ache, Shizuo reminded himself to breath.

He looks so beautiful.., he thought to himself. Completely lost in his awe, he started playing with a few strands of silky hair.

Suddenly he felt the strong need to protect Izaya from the world around them. He knew the younger boy could handle himself- mostly- but he wanted to shield him from everything. He never wanted to see him hurt again, never wanted to have to deal with one of his many masks. He wanted to see this face again. This innocence, he never saw before.

Knowing Izaya, he wouldn't go down without a fight, but Shizuo would make sure to give him a hell of a fight.

Kadota be damned.

He wanted Izaya to himself. All of him.

When he thought about this maybe being the last time, he saw the raven like this made his heart ache. It was everything he needed to know.

He liked him. A lot.

It took him nearly half an hour for his still a bit drunken mind to come back to its senses.

He stopped playing with Izayas hair and moved slowly to get up without waking him.

Once up he quickly dressed, grabbed his keys, cigarretes and his lighter. He went out after looking back one more time, a sad small smile tugging his lips upward.

He couldn't do it. Izaya belonged to Kadota.

It was worse enough that he already gave in to the small boy twice. He wouldn't take advantage of him again.

He was everything he wanted.

And everything he shouldn't., he thought to himself while lighting a cigarette, starting to walk down the street.

This needed to stop. He could be there for the raven as a friend, but nothing more. He just couldn't put anyone through this. It had been nice thinking about it. But this thoughts needed to stay in his head, where he wouldn't have to deal with the consequenses.

His chest ached and his heart was painfully throbbing when he thought about never seeing him like this again, never touching him again and never sleeping with him again.

Last night had been the first and the last time he would ever do something like this with Izaya.

It needed to stop. He needed to stop.


	7. Chapter 7

**Guys please don't hate me :(  
I know it took me damn long to post this and it's only a small one. But I'm already working on the nexxt one. Promise, maybe even today I will post another. **

**I had a lot of stuff going on. Bein in hospital and looking for a job now that school's over and stuff like this. I'm trying to post a bit faster from now on :***

 **Now go on and tell me what ya think about it :)**

It wasn't until much later, when Izaya finally opened his eyes. His vision was blurry and he felt like shit.

"Fuck..", groaning he hold his head and tried to slowly sit up. While doing so, he realised something.

"I'm naked. Why the fuck am I naked?" The raven looked around slowly. "And why am I in Shizu-chans bed?"

And suddenly all the memorys came crushing back. Him kissing the blonde, crawling on his lap. Shizuo kissing his neck down, bitting and sucking his flesh.. Both of them clumsy making their way over to the older boys bedroom and then..

Izaya felt a blush creep over his face. He covered his face in his hands and fell back down to keep the mass of pillows company. Right now he wanted nothing more than to sink into them and die.

He slept with Shizu-chan. With Shizuo. Shizuo Heiwajima damn it!

"I'm so dead.. Wait. Why exactly aren't I already dead?"

The little raven looked next to his body. The spot was empty and after feeling it, he knew it was cold. Shizuo had to be gone for quite some time.

Good, lefts me some time to think about what exactly I'm going to do now.., he tought to himself and closed his eyes. Pictures from last night came crushing in and again he felt a slight blush creep up his cheeks. There was this funny feeling too. The one he never really felt with Kadota anymore. But it was nearly always present when Shizu-chan was near him.

Izaya already came to the conclussion that he didn't hate the blonde anymore.

"Aaargh! That's not fair!" He threw a pillow against the closed door.

He wouldn't admit to anyone that he might even like him. Nope, not gonna happen.

But even he himself- the great master of mindfucking and lying- couldn't ignore the feelings in his chest ( and in a certain part lower) when he thought about last night and how it felt to kiss Shizuo and to sleep with him.

"Crap." Izaya sighed deeply. "I'm so going to die now.."

Shizuo had been out for almost two hours, just thinking about what to do now.

Izaya would be veeery angry when he wake up.

He wouldn't even be surprised when the little raven had already left his house.

The blonde felt a sting when he imagined how it would be. To live all by himself again. To go back to how things where between them. And again pictures of the last night haunted him.

But what if he was still there? What if maybe, just maybe, Izaya hadn't left? If he hadn't wanted to?

Shizuo shook his head to get rid of this thoughts.

He couldn't get his hope up.

Izaya was his friend. So was Kadota. And he wouldn't destroy their relationship just cause he had a little crush on the younger.

He was about to lighten a cigarette, when his phone suddenly vibrated. After he took his lighter away and inhaled the smoke one or two times, he took his phone out.

One new message. From..

"Izaya?" Oukay, there was the hope again. But at the same time he was afraid to open it. What if he was agry at him for taking advantage? If he told him to never see him again?

Well, in fact he thought he'd had to do just that. Keep Izaya away from him. But be honest he just wanted to go home, lay down and cuddle against him again.

Another inhale of smoke later he found the courage to open the message.

Bring me a coffee, Shizu-chan. My head hurts ."

He smiled and went to the next coffeeshop to buy one.

So Izaya was still at his place. Had to be a good sign right?

Argh no, that's bad. I can't touch him., Shizuo remindet himself. Again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, like promised; the next one :)**

 **As always I don't own anything and the song which sadly I don't own too (cause then I'd be rich and life would make muuuch more fun) is Shut up and dance from Walk the moon**

 **This little things is living on my computer now for almost one year. Now I decided to put it in this story. I think it fits. But what do ya think?**

 **As always; Tell me what ya think and have fuuun :3**

When Shizuo came home he couldn't believe his eyes. There stood Izaya in his kitchen, cooking, singing and dancing to the music coming from his phone.

Shizuo leaned against the doorframe to watch him a bit more.

 _"We were victims of the night.._

 _The chemical, physical, kryptonite!_

 _Helpless to the bass and the fading light._

 _Oh we were born to get together,_  
 _Born to get together!"_

With the kitchen knife in hand as a microphone, the raven danced and twirled around the small kitchen,, sometimes missing the text at a few parts and sometimes he even stroke the right note.

 _"She took my arm. I dunno how it happend.._

 _We took the floor and she saaaaiiiid.."_

Now the little raven got dramatic. He sank down on his knees and closed his eyes while nodding his head with the beat.

Shizuo had never seen him like this. And he certainly could have never imagined him like this either. But still it was kinda sweet. Even if he couldn't really sing very good.

 _"Oh don't you dare looke back!_  
 _Just keep your eyes on me._

 _I said your holding back._

 _She said shut up and dance with me!"_

He turned and opened his eyes, finally realising Shizuo was there. The blonde gulped, afraid Izaya would be mad at him for not saying a single word.

But instead the raven danced over to Shizuo, all the while singing.

 _"This woman is my destiny._

 _She said ohohoh~_

 _Shut up and dance with me!"_

And suddenly Shizuo was in a parallel universe. He had to be. Cause suddenly the coffee was taken from his hand and he was dancing with Izaya. Dancing. With Izaya.

What the fuck is happening right now?, he thought to himself. I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming.

But still he was more than happy to keep dacing with the little singing raven, who seemed happier than ever.

Does he really trust me that much? Shizuo felt honourt. And he was happy. Again he forgot all about Kadota and just had fun with Izaya.

At the end of the song both of them laid on the floor, laughing pretty hard.

"If you.. ever tell someone..", Izaya said between laughter. "I'm going to kill you."

Shizuo nodded grinning. "Promise Iza. And by the way; there isn't a single person out there who'd believe me."

He nodded. "True. Point for you."

"I told ya if have a million in the end.", he answered smirking and bumped his shoulder against Izayas. "But how comes yer in this good of a mood? I thought yer head hurts?"

Izaya grinned innocently. "Found the painkillers"

Then he stood and went to the kitchen to finish making breakfast.

Shizuo remained sitting on the floor, watching Izaya.

The more he got to know the real Orihara, he more he liked him. It seemed stupid to him by now that they had hated each other so long.

Without all his masks he was a completely other person. He was cute, funny and he even had to admit that inside of him, Izaya still was kinda innocent.

And even though Shizuo wouldn't change this for the world, he wondered when exactly he came to knew Izaya that good.

Sure, he had always knew a good amount of things about the raven. Shizuos friends were his friends too, after all. And Shizuo had always kinda been able to look through his masks.

But this? It was awesome. And he would be damned if he wouldn't enjoy it!


End file.
